Fat Mailboxes

Have you ever just looked at the mailbox and known it was full?  It looks the same on the outside as it always does, except that it seems “fat”, and you know the mailman came while you weren’t looking and filled it.  I enjoy these little clues the universe gives me.  They are like our own private little joke.  Many days, especially close to the end of my cycle, I find myself less focused, more scattered and hypersensitive, and these little things are everywhere.

Just today, a dear friend gave me his text symbol that he was driving.  It is a D.  It is our private shorthand to pause texting .  Today, this D was somehow different.  He was up to something.  He was going somewhere special.  As I was also in the car on a short errand I also replied with a D2.  And then I stopped texting him.  For hours.  Out of respect.  And that was especially hard today.  I missed him.  But I am a big girl, and no mouse.  No small force to be reckoned with, even if I tone it down a notch.  So he can reckon with me or not as he chooses.  Gentleman’s choice today.  Ladies’ choice later.

Today was the black hole of lost things.  My iPad went missing.  My talk on Exodus 11 went missing.  My donut pans were not to be found.  I lost my Starbucks Iced Grande Passion when I left it on the roof of the car.  E, simply said, “maybe birds took it,” when I stopped on the other side of the parking lot to see if it was still there.  She’s adorable!  No matter.  Order will resume very soon.  For now, borrowing a term from E, it is "un-fun".

Elder D. Todd Christofferson spoke in General Conference on the slippery slopes of unbelief, disobedience, relativism and following the commandments.  I found it interesting, as I may be the most obedient relativist Mormon on the planet.  How is that for a paradox?  At the bottom of it all I am a pragmatic thinker.  I apply and adapt what works best in my current situation, but my nature at its core has never changed.  I am my own authority, until I give it to one more expert than myself.  Easily that is Heavenly Father and the Savior, Jesus Christ.  This is necessary for anyone whose heart has been broken, you will find.  And the atonement is the great healer of broken hearts.

But once healed, I know we are not meant to be alone.  Even when we feel that we are, actually alone, we’re not.  Ever.  And the Master of contrite spirits lets us know this in myriad ways.  Including pregnant looking mailboxes and fat texted D’s, or ghosts of relatives tossing spices in the kitchen and wafting perfume through the apartment.